Many people on Twitter are amazed when they find out that I advocate abstinence-only (ab-only) sex education. They tell me that ab-only sex education doesn't work, because people are going to have pre-marital sex regardless.
While some people are against ab-only sex education all together, most people advocate sex education that provides information on abstinence and the use of artificial birth control as a means of preventing unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STD's). While this may sound reasonable to most people, as a Catholic, I cannot advocate sex education that teaches people that it's ok to have pre-marital sex, as long as they use "protection" (artificial birth control). Here's why:
- The Catholic Church teaches that pre-marital sex is wrong (see http://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=724&page=1). It would be a sin for me, as a Catholic Christian, to tell a person that it is ok to have pre-marital sex, whether it's protected sex or not.
- The Catholic Church teaches that the use of artificial birth control is wrong (see http://www.catholic.com/library/Birth_Control.asp and http://www.ewtn.com/library/marriage/shouldbe.txt). It would be a sin for me, as a Catholic Christian, to tell a person it is ok to use artificial birth control, no matter how good their intentions are for using it.
Since I believe that pre-marital sex and the use of artificial contraception is immoral, I cannot advocate sex education that teaches that it's ok to have pre-marital sex, or that it's ok to use artificial contraception.
I imagine that some people who read this post will say "that's fine for you to believe that way, but I don't have to believe that way because I'm not Catholic." I believe that each person is free to believe whatever they want to believe, but I also believe that truth is absolute. In regards to pre-marital sex, I believe it is wrong for everybody, not just for those who believe it's wrong. I don't ascribe to the belief that what's wrong for one person can be right for another person. An apple is an apple, regardless of what a person may think it is. Pre-marital sex is either wrong for everyone, or right for everyone. It can't be right if you believe it's right, and wrong if you believe it's wrong. I believe pre-marital sex is wrong for everyone because the Catholic Church, which was founded by Jesus Christ himself, and the Bible that came forth from the Church, teaches it is wrong. I believe Jesus when he said that the Holy Spirit would guide the Church to all truth, including the truth about pre-marital sex.
Consider this scenario:A single woman "Jill" is living with her boyfriend "Jack". Jack and Jill share an apartment together. Jill is a stong believer in abortion rights, and Jack supports her pro-abortion beliefs. Jill thinks it's wonderful that Jack is so supportive of her "right to choose" abortion if she so desires. Jack doesn't want to wait until marriage to have sex with Jill. That's OK with Jill, so Jack and Jill walk up the hill to their apartment and enter into an active pre-marital sex life.If Jill was my daughter, this is what feedback and advice I would share with her:- Jack's support of your pro-abortion beliefs seems noble, and may very well be, but the fact that he is unwilling to wait until marriage to have sex with you casts doubt on the nobility of his support. Is it possible that he supports your pro-abortion beliefs so that it he gets you pregnant, he won't need to worry about the complications of having a child out of wedlock because he's confident you would abort the child?
- Why isn't Jack willing to wait until marriage to have sex with you? Doesn't he think you're worth waiting for? Is it possible that his unwillingness to wait until marriage to have sex with you is a sign of a lack of commitment to you? He might not want to wait until marriage to have sex with you because he doubts that he will ever marry you.
- If Jack really loves you, and is committed to be with you, he should be willing to wait until marriage to have sex with you. If he is willing to wait, you can rest assured that he isn't interested in you primarily to receive physical pleasure from your body.
- Do you really want a boyfriend that supports abortion rights? What if you get pregnant, and you really want the baby, and he doesn't, and he pressures you to have an abortion? If Jack was pro-life (against abortion rights), you wouldn't have to worry about being in that situation.
I would also have a separate conversation with Jill as to why she is pro-choice/pro-abortion, and why she thinks pre-marital sex is OK, but I'd rather limit the scope of this post to the pre-marital sex and abortion rights aspects of Jill's relationship with Jack.If Jill was your daughter, and you were fully aware of the arrangement mentioned in the scenario above, what would you say to her? What advice would you give her? Would you approve of what she is doing? If so, why? If not, why not? Please use the comment box below.
